This past week, Ava and I finalized our baby registration list.  We are officially registered at Target and BabiesRUs.  It was a pretty big ordeal, since Ava had to cross reference every suggested item with ConsumerReports and The Baby Bargain book.  Two essential tools in Ava’s shopping tool box.  We also validated the list with leading baby experts.  Paula, the baby whisperer.  She’s a nanny for a nice set of twins.  And Laurie, the mother of three babies.  One from her and two from her partner, Carol.  They told us some of the ins/outs of stuff we’ll really need.  No to the changing table, yes to the diaper rash cream from Silsby Pharmacy.  Yes to the bobbies, and more onesies. 

Now that we registered, we had to figure out the baby shower logistics.  A couple of weeks ago, some friends offered to have a shower for us.  Hmmm, I thought.  Do I really want some of my dear friends at this shower?  NO.  Yet, I can’t hold the shower myself.  That’s against baby shower etiquette.  So, how do lesbians hold a baby shower?  Should it be a traditional shower? 

In the traditional sense, mostly women are invited to baby showers.  Well that seems reasonable, but in a lesbian relationship, there are two women.  It’s sort of a gimmie.  So, we decided to look to The Great and Powerful internet for the answers.  One website mentioned ‘a lesbian at a baby shower.’  Well that won’t work.  We looked at a couple of others and decided, we were on our own to define this shower.

If we go with the female only option, how do we decide which one to invite.  The butch or the femme.  How do you define femme.  And who is going to be the one to make that invitee list.  Is it femme in looks or personality.  What if they both are femme.  Do you see my point in this…not fun.  A different option:  send two different length straws, whomever picks the shorter one, stays home.  Fortunately, we found a solution and it’s a couples’ baby shower.  Everyone is invited, even the men from the straight couples. 

Luckily, my sister Barb happily volunteered to hold the baby shower.  Natasha, my nephew’s wife (Barb’s  daughter-in-law) will be helping.  Barb was not surprised to hear there were 44 people on the list.  A typical baby shower has about 18-22 women invited.  44 is pretty big, but if I remove the ‘other halves’ we are around 18-22 women.  Plus, it’s not like we’ll receive 44 gifts, and there were still about 18-22 invitations.  Rumor is no one wants to play any games.  So our baby shower might be nothing like a typical baby shower after all. 

I’m starting to like this idea more and more.

Sweet dreams Ava and Ava Junior.