Dear Hillcrest Hospital;

My expecting partner Ava and I are patients of one of your OB GYN/Midwife practices at Hillcrest and this past Saturday we toured your hospital.  We are at week 34, so we thought we should at least find the entrance to Labor/Delivery and see the delivery rooms.  Unfortunately, we did not preregister, but it appeared there were several couples that did not as well. 

Our tour guide was Mary Ann and our tour started on time.  Within the first 10-15 minutes or so, I noticed she would only say Moms and Dads.  At first, I just let it go, thinking she’ll change her language.  After the fifth or sixth time of ONLY saying Dads, I started to get upset.  Which is unfortunate, since now I’m too focused on that and not the tour. 

The group in the tour was mostly heterosexual couples, however there was one single pregnant woman.  In total, there were probably 10-12 couples, including Ava and I.  At one point during the tour Mary Ann said that ‘usually the Dads are in the delivery room with the Moms.’  I said, ‘not usually,’ to which Mary Ann said ‘yes usually, not always,’ and she carried on with the tour.

I was hoping this would make Mary Ann change her language.  I tried to correct her, to which she corrected me.  However, she should have noted that we did not have a Dad present.  Only one other time, did she indeed change her language and that was in the postpartum room.  She said ‘Dads or support persons could stay in the room if the Moms did not have a roommate.’  This was the only other time she used the term support person.  The remainder of the tour, she used Dads.

Ava and I both agree the ONLY reason we are still planing to deliver at Hillcrest is DUE to the midwife practice.  IF we had this tour earlier in our pregnancy, we would have switched hospitals.  In addition, we feel that while it is unfortunate that someone still uses such offensive language, we do have one thing in our favor, word of mouth. 

At this time, we would struggle to suggest Hillcrest to any of our friends or family.  It’s rude and unprofessional to use Dad, not only to Ava and I, but to the other single woman in the tour.  It saddens me to say that, since the practice we’ve been using has been nothing but kind, professional, welcoming and very supportive.

As I’m sure you know, your demographics at Hillcrest are changing since you no longer do births downtown.  I hope that you institute changes not only in your education department, but in your hospital in general.

Thank  you.