“What angers us in another person is more often than not an unhealed aspect of ourselves. If we had already resolved that particular issue, we would not be irritated by its reflection back to us.” Simon Peter Fuller

One helpful tool in managing anxiety or irritation is giving ourselves “permission to pause” in any situation that arouses a physical, mental, or emotional reaction. It provides time and space to gain detachment. After pushing the pause button, we can take deep breaths, tune in and listen to our heart rather than react from our fear-based mentality, avoid knee-jerk reactions, and consciously observe the situation from a more expansive perspective.

Taking such a purposeful break affords us the opportunity to explore the root of our negative mindsets, beliefs, and the self-destructive patterns they trigger. Examining which patterns have surfaced allows us to override their influence and tune in to spiritual information flowing through the heart, which is more aligned with our true being. We can also reframe our anxiety or irritation, viewing it as an opening to new information or experiences.

Another tool for countering reactivity is a visual cue, such as a stop sign, comma, or pause button. Envisioning such a cue, or having it displayed on or near a phone or desk, or on a computer screen, where situations may arise that provoke anxiety, can be an automatic reminder to stop, release a reaction, and then respond consciously.

Finally, watching yourself as if in slow motion will give you more time to become aware of your thoughts and emotions, and ultimately to release reactions. This occurs because slowing down our pace moves us into a present-oriented state unattached to prior irritations or anxiety. It is difficult to release reactions when, on an emotional scale of one to ten, you have already moved to a nine or ten.