Story Road » debra

My Life as a Glamorous Author

debra — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 15:46:19 +0000

When we use humor, spontaneity, and play, we embrace life with a new perspective-one that sustains a positive flow of energy through us no matter what is happening in our lives. These elements help dissolve our negative patterns such as control, fear, and self-consciousness. Most importantly, they encourage us to play with the possibilities while fully expressing ourselves.

I was reminded of using these spiritual principles on the day of my book signing in Ann Arbor on Thursday. After working all morning and preparing for my trip, I learned that a shipment of books that I had sent to a distributor had arrived dented, torn and covered in oil. They needed the shipment yesterday so I quickly packed another box of books and this time chose UPS instead of the US Postal Service. THIS TIME, I also remembered to insure them.

I arrived home just in time to meet my dad who was driving with me to Ann Arbor. As I opened the door excited to see him, my golden retriever dashes through the doorway deciding that this would be a great time to explore the neighborhood. As I chased her through several backyards, I finally caught up to her. Success….but then I fell. Did I mention I was wearing white pants?

After a wonderful drive with my dad, I arrived at the bookstore ready to greet the 1100 people who had responded on Facebook that they were attending the signing; however, that 1100 turned into a mere fraction that included my dad. Fortunately, I could still videotape my presentation….except that my camcorder chose that moment to die and the backup was 200 miles away.

The presentation went extremely well and just as I was letting out a sigh of relief, a young University of Michigan graduate student decides to ask a question. I didn’t realize questions could actually last 15 minutes. Isn’t there a time limit, or a rule of etiquette about asking questions? By the time he was finished, I had forgotten what his point was; yet, answered him with a smile and the first thing that came to mind.

I finally made it home around midnight, happy in my heart even after my dad pointed out that after gas, dinner, and the earlier loss of books, my profit was the change in his pocket, this day was perfect just as it had unfolded. Being flexible, keeping a sense of humor, and allowing spontaneity and play, sustains the flow of light energy through us supporting responsive rather than reactive choices.

Personal Integrity: A Higher Order of Being

debra — Tue, 25 May 2010 12:03:50 +0000

Having a foundation of personal integrity cultivates life-enriching relationships with ourselves and others. Like the links in a chain, integrity is the strength we have that holds us to a higher order of “being.” Personal integrity aligns our thoughts, words, and actions with the powerful flow of energy that is who we are. In aligning with this energy, we must hold true to ourselves, open our hearts to new information, and make impeccable choices.

Recently, I had the opportunity to have a heart to heart conversation with my daughter concerning several lies she had told to cover up a series of poor choices she had made. What she needed to recognize was that her choice to lie and deny any accountability for her actions was out of integrity. It was also important for her to see that she engaged in this behavioral pattern most often when she became insecure in a relationship. Through recognizing and arresting the pattern early, she would more likely trust, honor, and stay true to herself in future relationships.

It’s not always easy staying true to ourselves and our word. However, our word is law in the universe and one of the most precious and powerful forces we have. When we commit to consistently keeping our word, we see ourselves and are seen by others as trustworthy. In the case of my daughter, my frankness may not have endeared her to me at that moment, but my integrity overrode any fear that I had of her being upset with me or of losing her love. Following my heart, my personal integrity was strengthened and ultimately, this would promote a deeper trust and intimacy between us.

The path of truth builds integrity. We can channel the power of our word when we live a life of honesty and impeccability. In keeping our covenants and embodying sincerity, we see that we are worthy of trust and can incorporate it into our everyday experience.

Cultivating Open and Compassionate Communication

debra — Fri, 21 May 2010 11:36:16 +0000

Cultivating clear, open, and compassionate communication promotes a deepening of trust and intimacy with ourselves and in our relationships. Amidst the stress and complexities of life, even the closest of partners, friends or colleagues at times feel misunderstood, disconnected, or not heard. All the more reason, to practice speaking our truth from our hearts.

First, we must feel safe with another person to be vulnerable and express our inner truths without fear of judgment or criticism. Revealing our insecurities and vulnerabilities is something we may find difficult because it requires us to confront and see ourselves for who we are. We have to be brave enough to delve deep inside and express our being to our another rather than the patterns, roles, or identities we play out everyday.

Second, we need to listen more responsively and speak less reactively. We will find that our partners or friends will be more open if we respond meaningfully and support their need to be heard. We lovingly communicate by taking turns sharing and listening to each other with non-judgment, acceptance, respect and without interruption.

Third, keep a sense of humor and stay lighthearted as much as possible no matter how difficult. Play with the differences and delight in the exploration of new territory.

Fourth, we have to be aware of our own feelings, needs and desires so that we can articulate them clearly and ask for what will support us. We can ask ourselves, “What am I feeling right now that I need to communicate to this person.” Then we have to pause until we are able to speak clearly from our heart.

Finally we need to accept another person’s viewpoint even when it differs from our own. We can communicate our acceptance by saying, “Wow, what an interesting point of view,” “I never looked at it quite that way,” or “Can you tell me more about this?”
The more genuinely we respond, the more we show that we acknowledge and value another person’s being.

Soul-Hearted Partners: Beyond Soul Mates

debra — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 17:18:06 +0000

People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Soul mates appear in life for reasons that often have to do with the soul’s purpose on earth and our spiritual progression. They enhance our lives by providing insights, unconditional love, and assistance with challenges.When soul mates appear in our life for a reason, it usually has to do with our spiritual progression. They meet a need or fulfill a desire that we have expressed and often, come to assist us through a difficult situation, providing us with guidance and support. Often, they appear serendipitously, as a godsend, arriving in response to the spiritual law of attraction. What we must realize here is when the reason for which they have been summoned is resolved, they are free to stay or move on. Sometimes, without it being anyone’s fault or wrong doing, the relationship will come to an end.

Many people assume that there is only one true soul mate for each person and that we have to persistently seek out this person to be happy. In reality, however, there may be many with whom we can interact throughout a lifetime. The relentless search for the one perfect person to complete us is one of the ego’s most persuasive delusions. Our spirit does not have a vested interest in any one person; indeed, there are many individuals on earth who are here to guide your soul’s journey and assist us in seeing our life from a more cosmic perspective.

We have multitudes of soul mates that come into our lives for a season. It is a time for us to connect, share, grow, or transform in some way. These kindred souls can bring us an experience of peace, make us laugh, show us something we have never done before, or give us an unbelievable amount of joy. We must treasure the precious time we have with them and then, let go.

Lifetime relationships, our soul-hearted partners, offer us lifetime gifts; insights we must build upon in order to develop and sustain a solid physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual foundation. Our quest is to accept the message, love the person, and apply what information we have received in all other relationships and aspects of our lives.

The Art of Letting Go

debra — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 11:19:59 +0000

Letting go is one of the most important, yet most difficult spiritual principles that we are awakening to at this time. Like any art, it takes an open loving heart, expanded awareness, and sustained practice to become masterful. It also requires surrounding ourselves with the people and environments that support us releasing what is necessary in a healthy and positive way. Most of all, letting go requires trust in ourselves and our connection to source for it to become an essential element in our lives such as the air we breathe.

Many people have asked me, “How do I let go? My answer is simple-we have to let go into trust. Letting go and trust go hand in hand as one doesn’t exist without the other. It’s easy to move on when we have the road map right in front of us; yet, many of us struggle to let go of a relationship, a job or our life as we’ve know it when we have to trust the compass within us. Our inner GPS system of trust is our safety net, however, this safety net isn’t a white fluffy pillow that we fall back on in familiar comfort. Rather it is a deep sense of connection to a higher power whatever that happens to be for us and then accessing this source through our heart.

We begin by letting go of our negative thoughts, fears and expectations moment to moment which brings us into a state of expanded awareness or presence. It takes more than deep breaths to let go; it requires strength of trust and courage of the heart. Ultimately, we must trust that letting go is about the completion of life cycles and thus, signals a beginning more than an end.

We have a choice in every moment to let go into trust.

Taking Healthy Breaks

debra — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 12:46:51 +0000

Many of us feel fatigued when our personal and professional responsibilities seem never-ending and overwhelming. Sometimes, we even deny ourselves sleep, rest, and personal care in order to take care of all of them. Frequently, our many obligations compel us to forge ahead, ignoring the body’s need to slow down, relax, and restore itself. This often leads to a feeling of compassion fatigue where our energies are drained from the “care taking” of others.

Taking sufficient breaks gives our bodies an opportunity to let go of tension, fatigue and repair itself. When we allow ourselves to rest and restore, while letting go of our thoughts and duties, we find that we feel healthier and more at peace. While our many obligations may compel us to battle ahead, our health and well-being depends on our willingness to listen to our body’s cues to slow down, relax and take breaks. Even taking short breaks in between tasks and spending time in solitude or engaging in an activity that we enjoy can help release any tension we may experience because of our busy schedule.

Building regular breaks into our day is the key to enjoying a healthy and happy life. These breaks can be as simple as closing our eyes and deeply breathing before we get out of the car or at at stop light or telling our family that we need several minutes to decompress when we walk in the door. Sometimes a moment to listen to music or meditate can be just what we need to let go and release anything we are holding onto from our day.

Consider making today the start of a new healthy habit of taking frequent short breaks throughout the day and extended ones to give yourself a chance to unwind, decompress, and just be.

The Pelican: A Metaphor of Transformation

debra — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:21:09 +0000

In Cleveland, Ohio pelicans are rarely seen. Yet, I have been in awe of one particular pelican that took up residence at a lake near my home in Cleveland Heights. As long as I have lived here, this has been the first pelican to visit the Shaker Lakes. Moreover, for a pelican to come this far inland is quite remarkable. Each day since it arrived, I find myself walking through the woods around the lake and pausing, captivated by its elegance, strength and grace.

The pelican’s sudden appearance is an inspiration, a sign of courage and trust in its journey and in my own. I watch it glide through the water effortlessly even though it carries a massive weight. Although unfamiliar to its environment, it has already found a flow and space for itself among the waterfowl already present on the lake.

I observe how the pelican spreads its wings and stretches all the time. It pays little attention to the fact that it’s the only bird like itself on the lake. It moves in a natural and fluid movement without asking permission to swim that far and that fast. In its short-lived time on the lake, the pelican expresses itself no matter where it happens to be.

There is much that I can transform in my own life as I observe the wondrous journey of the pelican. I see the trust it has in changing course instead of flying directly south on the same path as always. It has shifted course, changed direction and has broken the typical pattern it has followed for years. Like the pelican, I see that I too can shift course, change direction and break with patterns. I can stretch in the direction I feel inspired without always stopping to check for approval. I can create my own slipstream that opens me to embrace all that is in my wake and propels me forward to follow my heart.

The pelican may stay for a few weeks, a month or a year-time doesn’t matter in this particular moment of its life. To the pelican, it’s just a tiny stopover, a momentary pause to enjoy the scenery and then let go and move on. I too, can live every moment of my life as a stopover, a juncture, an intersection on my soul’s journey that I enjoy for the moment and let go of into the next.

Trusting the Flow of Energy

debra — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 18:29:31 +0000

Sometimes we can feel frustrated or disappointed when situations don’t necessarily go the way we think they should. This may lead us to become more methodical, rigid or even inflexible. Rather than trying to control the situation through sheer force of will, we can choose to trust and align ourselves with the flow of energy that we direct through our hearts. Like surfing, if we simply tune in to each experience, breathe deeply, and allow ourselves to flow rather than resist, we will be able to move smoothly through any wave without falling off of our board.

By attuning to the flow of divine energy in our lives, we can let go of our need to control every detail and situation. Instead, we can trust ourselves and our connection to our source and flow easily with the natural rhythms of our lives. While we may not be able to control other people or the circumstances, we can choose how we perceive and experience them. When we unequivocally trust ourselves to draw on this energy source, we see that we cocreate our own reality. Trusting our connection to this source of creation, ignites our intentions, which in turn opens us to see more possibilities. Then, we can make more discerning choices that will benefit us in the future.

It is important to acknowledge the divine order that exists in everything around us and within us. When we align ourselves with this natural flow, we can release our perceived control and move effortlessly through our daily experiences. As a result, our feelings of tension ease and we can fully engage in each moment with a deeper level of enjoyment. As we release our need for control and align with the flow of energy of the universe today, we can create an easier way of living that will enhance our every experience.

Opening to Deeper Levels of Intimacy

debra — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 12:22:02 +0000

Most of us desire deeper, levels of intimacy with ourselves and our loved ones. Such meaningful relationships and intimate interactions begin with feeling “safe” enough to to freely and openly share our fears and insecurities. Opening up to another person and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable helps us establish the intimate connection we desire.

We can let down our guard and the barriers that surround our hearts by establishing absolute trust in ourselves and our connection with source. This creates a foundation for an intimate relationship with another. Trust fosters full self-expression uninhibited by insecurity and opens us to heart to heart communication. Creating an environment of trust with another requires accepting ourselves for who we are, the other person for who they are, and the relationship for what it is in the present. When we let go of being possessive or insecure, we support an atmosphere where it is safe to bear our souls.

In the new movie, “Avatar,” the indigenous people open to a soulful connection to one another by looking deeply into each other’s eyes and expressing, ” I see you.” There are people in your life who want to see you, the true being-not the patterns, roles, or identities you play out everyday. Open your heart and be brave enough to reveal yourself. Then, reciprocate and really see them, too

Sharing our innermost thoughts and feelings with another allows us to forge intimate and meaningful relationships. When we reveal our true being to another, any chasm that separates us is bridged by such intimacy. This can be uncomfortable at first, but it is emotionally fulfilling to relate to others in such an intimate way. Revealing our true selves brings us closer together and our intimate connection gives us a common ground upon which to spiritually grow in relationship.

Book Launch at Joseph-Beth Books February 11, 2010 at 7:00pm

debra — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 14:29:23 +0000

Award-winning Author Speaks of Soul-Hearted Partnerships–

Intimacy that Promotes Spiritual Development

(Santa Fe, NM, January 4, 2010) – While romance is the sole focus of Valentine’s Day, Debra Reble’s Soul-Hearted Partnership: Creating the Ultimate Experience of Love, Passion, and Intimacy debuts in February to celebrate enriching relationships that promote spiritual well-being as well as passion.

The book launch at 7 pm on February 11 at Joseph-Beth Booksellers (Legacy Village, Lyndhurst, OH) presents Dr. Reble, a Cleveland-based psychologist, in a discussion of ways to create the ultimate experience of togetherness, using theories and evidence based on years in private practice and the pursuit of spiritual growth.

“It is always possible to cultivate a fulfilling life with amazing relationships,” Dr. Reble says, “because the power to do so resides within us rather than in external situations and other people. First, you have to transform yourself and sustain a healthy partnership with yourself.”

Grace Cavalieri, critic, writer, and public radio host, reviewed Soul-Hearted Partnership for The Monserrat Review: “This is a book that contains factual information, practical exercises, and a sensible tool kit for maintaining heart-connected relationships. This is work of enlightenment in an age of evolved knowledge, a writing that could not have occurred during a former time, certainly not in our parents’ era. It is the product of new information about soul and spirit coupled with uninflected data and scientific understandings.”

Soul-Hearted Partnership is a Finalist in the 2009 National Best Books awards by USABookNews.com, the premiere online magazine and review website for mainstream and independent publishing houses. It was also named one of the “Best Books for Winter Reading, 2009-2010” by The Monserrat Review.

Details: “Soul-Hearted Partners–More than Soul Mates”

Debra L. Reble, Ph.D. (www.soulheartedpartnership.com)

Book Launch – February 11, 2010 at 7:00 pm,

Joseph-Beth Booksellers, Legacy Village,

24519 Cedar Road, Lyndhurst OH 44124

Tel. 216-691-7000